Outside Looking In
by Akasuna no Rin
Summary: So I didn't know what to expect-how was I supposed to? I'm just now meeting these people-really, seriously! I don't know them!/What the Hetalia characters look like to non-fanboys/girls, ie: regular people. Several different pairings mentioned.


A/N: This plot bunny refused to leave me. It haunted me at night. That's why I had to write this, though I don't think it was bad that the bunny continued to bother me.

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I had decided on taking a walk to the park by myself. Usually going alone would be fine, because there was always some people there that would be willing to talk to you. So I headed out, not knowing what I had in store for me. As soon as I got to the park I headed to the open, grassy part, the one with pathways riddling the area. It was usually where people came to walk. Yet, this time, there were lots and lots of people there. It looked like a cultural fair had thrown up in the park, all the people running around and talking to each other. While they all seemed to speak English, I could hear some very heavily accented voices in the crowd. I watched from the side, staring in awe, wondering who all these people were and why they were here.

"Excuse me, is there something you wanted?" I heard a voice with an Eastern European accent and turned to see a woman in a green dress and long brown hair approaching me.

"Uh, no. I was just wondering why there are suddenly so many people in this park, and why they all seem to come from other countries," I answered her politely, trying to identify her accent. She smiled at me.

"We are an odd bunch, aren't we? We work for a business that has branches all over the world, and we're all the representatives of our respective countries. I'm Elizaveta Héderváry, the representative for Hungary," the woman, Elizaveta, answered.

"Oh, that sounds very involved," I said as I watched several of the representatives run around, in what I would have guessed was a game of tag, except for the fact that most of the people running around looked to be in their younger 20s.

"Hey, Hu-" I heard a shout with a heavy German accent, only to be cut of with the sound of a smack. I turned to see an albino man and a brown haired man with a piece of hair sticking out of his otherwise very well groomed head. I wondered why the brunette had smacked the other man for no apparent reason, while Elizaveta waved at the two, beckoning them to come closer.

"This is Gilbert Beilschmidt and Roderich Edelstein, the representatives of Germany and Austria," Elizaveta told me, and waved at the two. Gilbert gave me a thumbs up while Roderich nodded in my direction. I wondered if the albino knew that there was a baby chick on his head.

"So, Elizaveta, how about you and the awesome me go out for dinner tonight?" Gilbert asked, turning his attention to his friend. Elizaveta's face twisted into a grimace.

"Not happening," Elizaveta stated, then looked hopefully at Roderich. The man either didn't notice the pleading look, or he purposefully ignored it.

"Gilbert, I think your brother is trying to get your attention," Roderich said, and I looked in the direction he was pointing to see a tall blonde being clung to by a shorter brunette. The blonde seemed to be waving at Gilbert, who quickly walked away from Elizaveta and Roderich, the little chick on his head bouncing as he walked.

"The blonde one is Gilbert's brother, Ludwig, the other representative of Germany, and the brunette clinging to him is Feliciano Vargas, one of the Italian representatives," Elizaveta told me, to my questioning look. I watched as the two seemed to disagree on something, then the Italian seemed to win over the much bigger and stronger looking of the two, dragging him away to places unknown.

"Why do Germany and Italy have two representatives?" I asked her, to which she looked caught for a second, then she shrugged.

"I really don't know," she answered, though I could tell there was something she wasn't telling me. She pointed in another direction to a brown haired Spanish man who looked like he was trying to put a smooch on the smaller of the two, a man who looked surprisingly like Feliciano, with the exception of the little hair sticking out another direction. "That's Feliciano's twin brother, Lovino. The man trying to kiss him is Antonio Carriedo, the representative of Spain."

"Is there a reason Antonio is trying to force himself on Lovino? It looks like he really doesn't want whatever Antonio is trying to do," I said, watching as Lovino punched the living daylights out of the Spanish man. Elizaveta laughed, and the almost invisible Roderich let out a chuckle that seemed unlike him.

"Trust me, he wants it. I don't know what Antonio is trying to do, but Lovino is fine with it. He's just too far in denial that he won't admit too it," Elizaveta told me.

"Is Lovino, erm, in the closet?" I asked, embarrassed. Elizaveta let out another laugh.

"No, he just doesn't want to admit that he likes Antonio. I think the only person he seemingly dislikes more is his brother's boyfriend, Ludwig," Elizaveta told me, and my mouth dropped.

"Wait, what?" I asked.

"Again with this, but trust me, there are a total of maybe three straight guys in this area right now, and I doubt that any of them are in our group, with the exception of maybe Roderich," Elizaveta said, again looking hopefully at Roderich, who coughed and looked down. Elizaveta sighed.

"What is it that you sell again?" I asked.

"Err...stuff," Elizaveta answered lamely, and I decided not to ask again. I heard voices approaching, and turned to see two blonde people approaching, a man and what looked to be his little sister, judging by the bow in her hair.

"Hey, Vash," Elizaveta said, and he nodded in her direction, stiffening slightly at the sight of Roderich. He started walking faster, pulling the little girl along with him faster, though she looked like she wanted to stop and talk. After they were gone I turned to Elizaveta.

"What was that all about?" I asked.

"Sexual tension, that's what," Elizaveta answered with a hint of a giggle, looking at Roderich, "One of the reasons why I question Roderich's sexuality."

"That was a long time ago-"

"Yea, yea, you've told me that a million times," Elizaveta said, rather happy considering the fact that she was talking about the availability of what seemed to be her crush. Then she turned to me, and as an explanation, said, "That was Vash Zwingli and his adoptive little sister. He's the representative of Switzerland and she's the representative of Liechtenstein."

"Okay, two things. First, adoptive sister? They looked exactly alike! And two, where in the world in Liechtenstein?" I asked.

"Er, yea, adoptive. He hasn't really explained how that happened yet," Elizaveta skipped around the question, then moved on to explaining that Liechtenstein is a tiny country wedged in between Austria and Switzerland. I decided not to ask how he could have adopted her, and then she became the representative for another country. Plus, how old could she have been? She didn't look a day over fourteen. The immediate area was quiet for a moment as I thought of my next question, before there was a rush of people flying in front of me. Not literally, but with the weirdness of the people so far, she wasn't far from believing it.

"Yong Soo, aru! Get back here! I'm tired of you placing these stickers where they don't belong! I am not, and never will be, 'Made in Korea,' aru!" came a yell from what looked to be the older of the two, a woman with a long black ponytail, who was chasing a man in what looked like traditional robes of some country, a grin big enough to hit his eyes plastered on his face as he ran by. I snickered, and I thought I heard some of the surrounding people do the same.

Elizaveta started with a laugh, then said, "That was Yong Soo, the representative of South Korea, being chased by Wang Yao, the representative of China."

"Is that something that happens a lot?" I asked, and she and Roderich snickered. Actually, she snickered, his was more like a dignified giggle, as hard as that is to imagine.

"Quite often," Roderich answered, and Elizaveta nodded.

"That woman seemed very furious with that man," I said, to which Elizaveta burst into full out laughter, doubling over. "What? Did I say something?"

"Those were both men, though I guess it wouldn't surprise you for me to say that they are both gay," Elizaveta explained, and I blushed in embarrassment. Before I could ask who for, she answered.

"Yong Soo likes Yao, as well as Kiku Honda, the Japanese representative," Elizaveta said, pointing in the direction of the dark haired man who was speaking to Feliciano and Ludwig, "And Yao is said to like Kiku by some, and others say he likes Ivan Baginski, the Russian representative." Elizaveta kindly pointed out Ivan, who was easily the tallest man in the park, towering over the other people, and he seemed to be scaring the living shit out of those around him.

"The people around Ivan are Raivis Galante, the Latvian representative," she pointed to one of the shortest people in the park, someone who could easily pass for twelve, who looked to be pooping his pants at the moment, "Eduard Von Bock, the Estonian representative," she pointed to another person standing near Ivan, this one wearing glasses, "Toris Lorinaitis, the Lithuanian representative," she pointed to the oldest looking of the three, the one who Ivan was wrapping his arms around, much to the apparent discontent of Toris. "The two girls there are his sisters, the representatives for Belarus and Ukraine."

"If that girl is his sister, then why is she trying to kiss him?" I asked, creeped out as I watched one of the girls (the less well-endowed one) try to pry Ivan's arms off of Toris while keeping her face mere inches away from Ivan's.

"Well, we've always kind of worried about Natalia. She's a bit obsessed with her brother, and wants to marry him," Elizaveta said offhandedly, noticing the look on my face, "In turn, she hates Toris, who just so happens to be the one that Ivan is in love with, and Toris has a crush on Natalia, who wants to break his face in."

"That sounds...like a really weird love triangle," I said, watching Natalia try to beat up Toris, while Ivan was trying to pull his sister away from the smaller person.

"It is, trust me," Roderich said, jumping into the conversation. The fight on the other side of the clearing stopped when two people appeared, one of them using large hand gestures, one of which looked to be sticking out his tongue at Ivan, then running away quickly at what looked to be the beginnings of another fight. The two people came over to our side of the clearing, stopping in front of Elizaveta, Roderich and I. The taller one had blue eyes and scruffy blonde hair, and was gripping the shorter person's wrist, who didn't look like he minded, and yet wanted to tell him to get away.

"H-hey, Elizaveta, Roderich," the taller one panted out, looking behind him to see that Ivan was still on the other side of the park. "What's up?"

"I'll tell you 'what's up'," the shorter person said, pulling his hand away from the taller one with a blush, "You need to stop picking fights with Ivan. One day you won't have good luck, and he'll hurt you for real." The man's green eyes were blazing.

"Aw, Iggy, don't worry about it. I'm the hero, and the hero can never get hurt!" the taller man said, patting the green eyed man on the back. The other man muttered something that sounded like a half-hearted "bugger off," before noticing me.

"Oh, hello. I'm sorry I didn't notice you," he told me kindly, acting much different from when he was talking to the blue eyed man.

"It's fi-" I said, to be cut off by Elizaveta.

"I was just telling her who everyone was, because she was interested," Elizaveta told the two, and they looked at me.

"Oh, then I might as well-"

"My name's Alfred F. Jones, and I'm America's representative!" the taller of the two cut the other off. The green eyed one fumed, but went on anyway.

"I'm Arthur Kirkland, the English representative," he told me.

"Nice to meet you," I said, and then Alfred was off and talking as though I wasn't there again.

"Did you see Ivan lunge at me? I dodged though, all good heroes have to be able to dodge!" he started saying to Elizaveta, who nodded as though she really cared, though most could tell she didn't.

"I saw that, _mon ami_," a blonde man with a very obvious French accent said from behind Arthur. From what I could tell, he was attempting to grab Arthur's butt. Arthur, in turn, turned around and bitch-slapped him.

"Get away from me you dirty frog," he muttered, and Alfred took up the call.

"Yeah, Francis, he's mine. He doesn't want you grabbing his ass," Alfred said, to which Francis raised his eyebrows to.

"And I may guess that he allows you to, _oui_?" Francis said with a grin, and Arthur was blushing like that tomato that Antonio was eating like an apple behind him.

"A'course not, cuz that's not heroic!" Alfred said, and Arthur let out a sigh.

Elizaveta turned to me and whispered, "If you hadn't already guessed, the pervert is the French representative, Francis Bonnefoy." I nodded, and I watched as the three bickered for a while, then Arthur decided to end the argument.

"How about this: I don't want anyone fondling my arse, and we can leave it at that," he commented, and Alfred nodded, wrapping his arm around Arthur's shoulders.

"Oh, but it's so fondle-able," Francis said as the two tried to get away from him.

"Ahem," said a man who looked exactly like Alfred, except that I could see Alfred behind him, so it obviously was someone else.

"Ah, Mathieu, nice to see you," Francis said, wrapping his arms around the younger man.

"That's Matthew Williams, the Canadian representative. He's also Alfred's twin brother," Elizaveta told me.

"How does that work?" I asked, confused again. That seemed to be happening a lot.

"Separated at birth or something like that," she said offhandedly again. I watched as Francis tried to grope Matthew.

"Shouldn't someone stop him from doing that?" I asked Elizaveta, and she shrugged.

"No one can really tell whether Matthew minds or not. Then again, he might like Francis, because he's the only one who remembers him, so..." Elizaveta told me, and I tried to see whether Matthew looked like he liked having the older man wrapped around him like that. He was blushing, but that didn't mean anything. Francis and Matthew walked off, leaving me alone with Elizaveta and Roderich again.

"Hun-" I heard shouted from another direction, and I looked to see a blonde man-woman (I couldn't tell since his clothing and looks were very feminine, but didn't appear to have a "chest") pulling Toris behind him-her. The blonde was cut off by a nudge by Toris, and he quickly continued to speak.

"Elizaveta, do you, like, want to go shopping with Liet and I?" the blonde one asked, and I was increasingly thinking that it was a girl.

"Are you going now?" Elizaveta asked, and the blondie shook her head.

"Like, later. Right now I'm watching Ivan get chased by Natalia. It's like, totally hilarious," the blonde one said, and Toris smiled behind her.

"Oh, if it's later I'd love to," Elizaveta said, and I noticed Toris pale behind the blonde woman, "Oh yea, this is Felix Łukasiewicz, he represents Poland," Elizaveta told me, and Felix waved at me.

"It's like, totally nice to meet you," Felix said, while I tried to get over my surprise at the blonde actually being a man.

"It's nice to meet you too," I said.

"Well, see ya later, Elizaveta. Liet and I are going to watch Ivan suffer," Felix said, dragging Toris away, in the direction of where Ivan was spastic-ally jumping around and behind anybody in the way to try to avoid being found by Natalia. It wasn't working very well.

"I swear, that girl has to have Ivan-vision or something. She never loses him," Elizaveta commented as we watched. I watched a bit longer before tuning into the other conversations around me.

"No, Kiku is mine," I heard in front of me, finding a tall, olive-skinned man holding onto Kiku's jacket sleeve, and I saw on the other side a tan, brown haired man tugging on the other sleeve. The Japanese man looked distressed.

"I can be both of your friends though," he said, trying to pacify the other two, who refused to back down.

"No, Kiku, you and I are better friends, right?" the tan man asked, sounding kind of sleepy.

"That's Herakles Karpusi, Greece's representative, and the other man pulling on Kiku is Sadiq Adnan, Turkey's representative," Elizaveta told me as they continued their tug of war.

"Should we help Kiku?" I asked, watching the poor distressed man in between them.

"No, he'll be fine. He always is when this happens," Elizaveta told me. As I watched, the Greek man and the Turkish man seemed to have flagging attention spans.

"Hey, Herakles, look. A cat," Kiku said, and Heracles turned away long enough for Kiku to reclaim his arm, then he turned to Sadiq. "Could you let go of my arm, please?" As Kiku regained possession of both arms, he started to walk away, and Sadiq and Herakles began to argue.

"See what I mean?" Elizaveta asked me, and I nodded.

"Haha, Arthur! Lookie, I'm here too! Sealand is too a country!" a little boy ran through the park, being chased by two people, one of which could rival Ivan as the tallest person in the park. The other one was wearing a white beret, and was much shorter than the other person. The little boy was wearing what seemed to be a sailor outfit.

"That little boy's name is Peter Kirkland," Elizaveta said, "he's Arthur's little brother, and those two people chasing him are his adoptive parents."

"But why would he have been adopted if he has a brother old enough to take care of him?" I asked.

"Because Peter hates Arthur, and put himself up for adoption. The other two people are the representatives of Finland and Sweden, Tino Väinämöinen and Berwald Oxenstierna respectively,"

"I hope you don't mind if I don't try to pronounce their last names," I joked, and Elizaveta laughed, though I think she was just trying to humor me.

"Peter thinks that he is the representative of Sealand, an island off the coast of England, that is thought of as a micro-nation," Elizaveta continued explaining, "He spends most of his time trying to be recognized by the other people, and the other part he spends annoying Arthur." As I watched, Peter ran by Arthur and Alfred, grabbing Arthur's shirt and pulling as he ran by, leading to Arthur yelling at his little brother and Tino trying to apologize as he chased Peter.

Peter then stopped in the middle of the park and yelled, "Last night, Arthur-!" before he was caught by Berwald and lofted into the air, hand over his mouth. I could see the taller of the two "parents" whispering something into his ear. They then dragged him out of the park. Arthur was blushing scarlet, and Alfred seemed to be wondering what Peter had been planning on saying.

"Hey, I just now realized, I never caught your name," Elizaveta said to me.

"Oh, yea, my name is-"

…

So maybe I hadn't been expecting to see that when I decided to go on a walk. OK, let's not kid anyone-that was no where near what I was expecting. I was thinking that I would go and talk to one or two people about the weather and sports, stuff like that. I hadn't been expecting a whole freaking circus! So maybe they weren't _technically_ a circus, but there were very few ways to accurately describe the mess that I had seen in the park. Where else do you find girls who are that obsessed with their brother, people who think it's OK for their brother to put themselves up for adoption, guys who look that feminine, and really, how is it possible for that many cute guys to gather in such large amounts and them to all be gay with the exception of at a gay bar?

At least I learned something from this. All of the countries have their share of crazy.

...Though some were a little crazier than others...

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A/N: Okay, that was fun to write. Even if no one likes it. I'm happy I did that one. Though that doesn't mean you don't have to review! Please do!


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